Perceived and Posted by Jerry Schwartz
Is the sign on the road that says “Deer Crossing” for us or the deer? Obviously, deer can’t read. Perhaps, they can laugh.
Is the sign on the building that says “Seeing Eye Dogs Allowed” for us or the dogs? Dogs can’t read, unless they went to the same school as the deer, so logically the sign is for us. But why would we care unless we were blind, but then we couldn’t read it.
Walking quickly through Grand Central Terminal, a sign on the way up to a restaurant warns “Don’t Sit on the Steps.” Most people regardlessly sitting on the steps are Asian tourists. Probably, they don’t understand English.
Signs are our guideposts. Guideposts are our signs. They are verbal and non-verbal emblematic indicators that signal news, events, places, purposes and activities. They signify the significant or they would be irrelevant. As I’ve grown up, I’ve grown impatient with signs of irrelevance, meaningless signs. My theory is that sign-making is a job somebody gets stuck doing, not something you sign on to do. Calligraphers don’t seek careers with the highway department, do they? But often they become graphic designers, some even become web designers. The 1960s peace sign was created for a 1950s nuclear disarmament movement by a professional designer. It can be generated in HTML by typing ☮.
Perhaps it’s human nature not to read or believe the content on signs. We often drive through them, the way we ignore tags and labels. Many consumers never remove the white cloth tags on the bottoms of chairs and mattresses for fear of going to federal prison. Why do we always push when a door says pull or vice-versa? One spray in each nostril, open other end, don’t open til Tuesday, open ’til midnight. We’re closed . . .yes, sometimes we are.
Jay Leno built a regular Monday night feature on his show, known as “Headlines,” which covers more than headlines, to include one-liners and many signs. Favorites have included signs that are oxymorons, such as “Mandatory Volunteerism” and “Elevated Subway.” Fun ones are “Drive-Thru Colo-rectal Exams” and “No Peddlers,” a sign misinterpreted as no biking allowed. Most likely, the latter was written by the sign-maker who thought “D.C.” stood for “Duh Capital.”
Can there be invisible signs? Is that like being blind-sided? It’s not blind-sighted. Besides, ASL sign language is for the deaf.
No entrance, line forms here, single file. Paper here, cans and bottles there. Call, don’t call. Walk, don’t run. Quiet zone, 50 MPH zone. Oh, the many signs we ignore, intentionally or not, or mis-read. Is it rebellion, stupidity or information overload. Maybe there are too many, even one word long. Regardless, they’re a sign of something, not nothing. Synz. Cynes. Pseynes, Tsi-nz.
One Hispanic woman saw the wristlets on her newborn twins and thought the doctors had thoughtfully named the boy and girl, Molly (male) and Femolly (female). Imagine the awkward moments when they grow up, when their names are called out in school, when they marry, when they sign important documents.
Words have never been worth more money. The price per word has skyrocketed in recent years as compensation for movie, TV, book and software deals have reached new heights. Michael Eisner was right, content reigns. And when it reigns, it pours. Except for sign-makers, they don’t make much. They’re just plain poor. Hand-lettering when English is a second language produces “stopp.” There are few proofreaders and no spell checkers on the road to success. It’s not journalism or even symbolism, though it may be heresy.
Last month, I saw the much-publicized movie “Angels & Demons,” a film that absolutely underscores the skyrocketing price per word. It’s one of those films that a publicist can appreciate if only for it’s extreme promotion, right down to stimulating stories on travel to Italy and launching investigations on the History Channel. It’s also a story about the power of signs (segni in Italian) and symbols. The story ends with the Vatican manipulating all the news about a series of murders… a sign of being cross? The signs were real, their interpretation cinematic and the story was Dan Brown’s fiction. Tom Hanks plays a symbologist, a sign studier not a maker.
Previous movies and books see signs as important keys to the past or future, abbreviated communications tools like so many computer emoticons. The sign of the anti-Christ in the form of three sixes in “The Omen.” M. Night Shyamalan’s movie, “Signs,” “The Seventh Sign” with Demi Moore, and others. In Yasmina Reza’s award-winning play, “Art,” which became a movie, three characters sit on a sofa and debate the meaning of a blank white canvas as a sign of what?
I saw Reza’s new play, God of Carnage, recently, which was great, which was at the Bernard B. Jacobs Theater, which was the former Royale Theater in New York. Lotta sign changing and, more than hand-lettering, there are the lights. Broadway lights. Different than street lights. Different than lights on New York’s Jackie Robinson Parkway and the Robert F. Kennedy Bridge. Ya think the Royale family was upset over the name change? What about the Triboro and Interboro families? Who decides these things? Who changes Shea Stadium to Citifield? Who changes Idelwild Airport to Kennedy? Who changes the history books? Why change all those signs (and who pays for the changes), anyway? All different signs, not necessarily brighter.
I love you but….. he’s very business-like… she has a great personality… convenient lower floor apartment… intensely flavored…. openly direct… sprightly… calculating… attractive… full-figured… ambitious… learning disabled… height challenged. Sign-onyms
But still, signs, words or labels – oh, please.
A couple of years ago, a company specializing solely in computer emoticons – one of many businesses like this – wanted to hire us to promote their online signs. Their offer of stock instead of cash was a real sign, a sign of the times. We said no. They said it was a sign of our insincerity. We said, no, again. We have checks to sign. We had to resign.
Signs of economic recovery. Little, green shoots sprouting through the market’s floor. A dependable sign is the significant drop in initial unemployment insurance claims. Housing’s decline is stabilizing a little here and there, as is consumer spending. Companies are lean and that signals stronger profits. More signals still needed. We have all signed on.
I need to sign off.
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